I write these blogs anonymously.

Why?

I cannot yet bring myself to admit to others, particularly friends and family, that I am not a believer.

Two things:

1. I cannot bring myself to use the word atheist….never liked the word and never seen the need for it
2. I am not sure I will ever be ‘ready’

I happened to announce openly on social media that I was in favour of same sex marriage. As a hetrosexual male (not sure why I felt the need to say that…perhaps the title of this post could be misleading), it felt completely natural to show warmth towards my fellow human beings and support their desire to publically, and formally, commit to one another.

My public post was witnessed by many, liked by a significant amount, and completely ignored by those in my circle of friends and family who are religious. All except my parents who felt embarrassed by my public expression.

I, of course, apologised as this was not my intention. I also made clear that my support did not extend to forcing faith based organisations to carry out same sex marriage ceremonies. This, I believe, is not the point. Religious institutions should be free to practice their religion as long as it doesn’t interfere with the laws that govern our secular society.

I guess it was my parents reaction that is driving my second point above. I simply am not built to be disagreeable, much as I would like to be on occasion.

My drive to make peace, collaborate, be respectful will always count against me in the matter of ‘coming out’, but come out I must.

For those who are in very similar positions, and perhaps don’t have the protection of being on the other side of the world from their friends and family, like me, reach out to like-minded people. Get to know yourself a little better such that you can be confident in expressing how you feel without being disrespectful. I long to get to that point myself and wish those of you in the same boat all the best in your endeavours.

P

As a youngster, Sunday School consisted of general bible teaching, but also involved a degree of examination every year. In the most part, examination was built around knowledge and understanding of the Shorter Catechism, knowledge of the Psalms and the more popular tunes and repetition of well-known biblical verses.

I never quite understood the point until late in life. The whole process was designed to indoctrinate.

My time as an adherent was not always negative and punishing. I did enjoying the singing and found I had inherited my fathers’ singing voice, though I could never quite match his tenor. Nor did I quite have the confidence to lead the praise, despite much encouragement to do so.

The Shorter Catechism was something I never enjoyed. This is probably why I can recall none of it, except its’ primary teaching:

‘Man’s chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy him forever’

God always had a capital ‘G’. Forever, is genuinely understood to mean forever. In other words, a Christians primary purpose is to spend this life, the only life we have, glorifying the supernatural, deluded into believing that a subsequent life will follow, be never ending and will be filled with endless praise and enjoyment of a God in whom we must both love and fear at the same time.

Sorry, but it just isn’t for me. I’m not built that way. I see nothing attractive in the proposition whatsoever.

There is something far more noble in understanding that our purpose, if you will, is quite simply to enjoy this precious life we are fortunate to be living, to do good by our fellow humans and to ensure that we leave this world in a better state than when we arrived.

It is a wonderful experiment, of which I am only to thankful to be part of.

P

I have always held a deep admiration for those amongst us who have a depth of knowledge that is rarely matched by their peers.

Partly because, as a Civil Engineer ‘to trade’, I never quite cut the mustard and partly because deep knowledge commands genuine respect and trust when making some critical decisions.

I recall being pilloried as part of a ‘talent programme’ for future leaders within my previous organisation, being asked by the Talent Manager, “Do you consider yourself a Generalist or a Specialist?”

This was a question I didn’t quite understand initially, but I reflected on my rather average ability as an Engineer, and concluded that I was in no way a specialist. ‘I am a generalist’, I thought ‘knowing very little about quite a lot’. Of course, I now know that there is a lot more to being a generalist (one who can apply a discreet suite of skills across a broad range of subjects and circumstances), than meets the eye.

In most working organisations, specialists are more and more finding themselves drawn to a generalist position. This is a good thing. It neither involves an abandonment of their specialist skills, nor an over indulgence in the business of wearing many hats. In the working environment, specialists are evolving.

The religious amongst us will forever be plagued with the banner of being specialists, knowing more and more about less and less. That is to say, as our understanding of cosmology and purpose/meaning of life increases, religion has, in my opinion, nowhere to advance. It can only delve deeper into ‘the book’ and search for more advanced and specialised theory under the principles of redemption and afterlife.

The enlightenment and scientific advancement provides an endless puzzle, one which we cannot put down.

The thought of knowing less and less about more and more excites me. Being more insignificant than I could ever imagine. Constantly solving problems and unearthing dozens more is what keeps us alive.

Bring it on.

PM

From afar, I have watched with dismay, events unfold, in the aftermath of Hibernian FC’s rather special victory at Ibrox.

It’s a rather sorry tale of Mr Neil Lennon, Hibernian’s manager and ‘former Celt’, who was treated to a barrage of racial and bigoted abuse for the entire 90 minutes of on field play.

As a lifelong Hibee, my weekends were absorbed by the ritual that is Scottish Football and I do not recall at anytime feeling guilty for getting caught up in the emotion and tribalism of it all. I recall also, happily signing some rather risqué sectarian songs with my Celtic loving pals, oblivious to the real history, the real meaning and the general distaste that accompanied such togetherness.

Of course, the singing was largely directed at those in our group who were of a Rangers persuasion, and wasn’t intended to be a direct reflection of our values/beliefs in this space. Nonetheless, sectarian singing, even if naively founded, has no place in our society and it is incumbent upon those practicing it to inform themselves fully before embarking on such shameful activity.

Neil Lennon turned up at Ibrox to do a job. The same as the majority of us do Monday to Friday. He has never asked for this abuse, nor does he deserve it. A long standing antagonist of Rangers and their followers, he always took special delight in defeating his closest rivals. For this, he has not only been verbally abused, but physically abused also. Saturday was the least of it.

Yet in the aftermath, there has been a media clamour to ‘balance the books’, and demonstrate fault on both sides. This lazy and ill considered journalism cannot be tolerated by those of us who are advocates of reason.

There is rarely a day goes by when I don’t shudder at the thought of a young me, taking the opportunity presented by the short walk from one pub to the next, belting out those hate filled songs in order to fit in, to generate banter, to have a laugh. Only with maturity does one realise it is no laughing matter and can lead to some very real harm.

Another example of “religion poisoning everything”.

We must snap out of this! Who will join me?

There are many things one looks forward to throughout the year:

Longer, warmer days as winter slides away.

A substantial tax return perhaps…..

But there is little to surpass the return of Game of Thrones to our screens. Monday’s are not great, I’m sure we will all admit. However, for a few weeks each year, Monday’s suddenly become a joyous occasion, a cause for celebration, and definitely an excuse to head home early from work, keeping the fingers crossed that the Foxtel recording hasn’t chosen today, of all days, to fail.

The dog walk can wait. Dinner can wait. Sometimes even removing ones work attire can wait.

So what awaits us with this new season? I won’t go into much detail as it will be impossible to guess.

Some might be inclined to suppose that this season may be a ‘filler’ for the expected finale season in 2018. But this is Game of Thrones. Whilst one might expect the odd filler episode, there is no getting away from death, mayhem, genocide, self indulgence, rape, torture, murder, and of course, dragons! There is certainly no doubt that the dragons will play a big part this season.

I have a soft spot for Daenerys Targaryen. She is certainly becoming more ‘queen-like’ as time passes by and has become adept at balancing command and control with respect. The throne doesn’t seem like much of a desirable prize, it certainly looks rather un-comfy, but she’s in a ‘must have’ mood and it will be interesting to see whether she has the desire to follow through.

Cersei will not be giving up without a serious fight, and boy, does she no how to fight dirty. Can she surpass the trail of destruction she left behind? I wouldn’t bet against it. She has given up any remaining modicum of compassion she had left. There is nothing more to lose.

And what of John Snow. He’s battle weary, yet has probably not seen the half of it yet. His sister will drag him south for revenge, but he knows it will all be to no avail unless he can defeat the threat from the north.

No longer a child, where the excitement of Christmas Eve was to hard to bear at times, I am happy to admit that this might just be my Christmas. Bring it on Santa!

Thank you CC for introducing me to the wonder that is GoT!

‘Faith, hope and love (charity), and the greatest of these is love’

This is one biblical quote that stays with me. Not for the first part, but for the second. I agree, of the three, the greatest is love.

Despite 40 years of being brought up with, and then living with, religion, faith never quite took hold for me. Fear, yes, but never faith. Fear of being ostracised. Fear of being judged by others.

As Laurence Krauss recently said:

“We should never take anything on faith. That’s really the mantra of science, if you want: that faith is the enemy of science. We often talk about a loss of faith in the world today; you don’t lose anything by losing faith. What you gain is reality”

“Faith, like hope, is a human construct that simply helps us pretend that an indifferent universe actually cares what we like”

I was brought up to admire faith, but could never quite commit to it myself. An adherent rather than a communicant, I was brought up to see faith as elevating some humans above others. It is easy to say that one has faith, it is quite a different matter to open one’s mind and challenge this in a meaningful way.

What does it mean to be faithful? My conclusion is that it is mostly borne out of a fear of death, a fear of the end and that’s that. I used to take pride in expressing faith, but only to those who were faithful. Expressing faith to non believers filled me with dread. I didn’t want to have faith, simply because it gave me a sense of belonging, of kinship with family and brethren.

Instead, I want to love and be loved. To feel free to love unconditionally. Faith in God always comes with condition. To use a behavioural term, it is negative reinforcement in its’ ultimate form.

I am tattooed on the left of my chest with a cross, light shining across it, and the numbers 3:16 across the top. It is only recently that I have come to accept that this symbol represented 40 years of fear and not a mark of faith. Now, I am sorry to say, I cringe a little when I go swimming with my two year old daughter and spend much valuable time figuring out how to cover this mark of fear, but can never quite bring myself to do this. Perhaps, inwardly at least, I like to be reminded of the nonsense it represents.

PM

Today I had the rare pleasure of a 30 minute car journey to work Jeremy Paxman (JP) and the late Christopher Hitchens (CH).

I am, of course, referring to a YouTube video interview from 2010, at a time when cancer had taken a hold of CH. The interview was a perfect duration for my journey and caused me much reflection.

Having been brought up as a Protestant, with a Free Church of Scotland Minister for a father, it had taken me in excess of 40 years to admit to myself that I found the whole idea of religion somewhat boring at best and positively frightening at its’ worst. CH was the primary catalyst for this admission and awakening. A realisation that, actually, I had no need of any help or intervention from the supernatural. I was perfectly fine thank you very much.

The interview is a piece of dialogue I now revert to often to bring a smile to my face. A man assured of his place on this earth, CH was without doubt an inspiration to many including myself. His ability to soften a normally abrasive JP is a rarity, and I encourage all to listen.

PM